Dear Alcohol: A Goodbye Letter

Dear Alcohol,

I’m sorry, but we can no longer see each other. I know it’s been a really long time since I became acquainted with you at that party when I was about thirteen, but lately, this relationship has become unhealthy and out of control. When we first got to know each other, you always made me feel so good about myself; so confident and daring, like I could say or do anything and it wouldn’t matter because I could blame you. I enjoyed the feelings you gave me, obviously a little too much, because soon, I began to crave and depend on you. I no longer gained satisfaction from the buzz you gave me on the occasional weekend. No, I wanted more, and you were willing to give me all I wanted. You taunted, teased and tempted me every time we met until I gave into you, always promising myself that I would have ‘just one more’ before putting you down. But it was never that easy. In fact, I became completely infatuated with you and the way you made me feel. You warmed me when I was cold, allowed me to forget my problems when I didn’t want to face them, and above all, were always there when the people I needed most weren’t.

At the same time, you gradually trapped me in your grip, squeezing me tighter and tighter until your hold on me was so tight, I couldn’t break away. With warmth came wrath, with forgetting came fighting, with assurance came addiction. You poisoned, polluted, and possessed me. You continue to poison, pollute, and possess me. But I’m telling you now; I’m not going to let you control me anymore. I can’t let you control me anymore. We’re done. I’m ending this relationship, for once and for all. And I know you’ll put up a fight and will try your utmost to weasel your way back into my life, but rest assured, I’ll fight you just as hard. I’m going to beat you and I’m going to beat you well.

I don’t need you anymore. I deserve so much better. And most of all, no matter how much you think I am your puppet to control and possess, I am so much more than you. Never forget that.

Farewell and good riddance,

S

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About diaryofanalcoholic

A son. A brother. A friend. A romantic. A college student. An athlete. A writer. A dreamer. An alcoholic. Just a person who is about to begin the journey to sobriety. One person who is sick of being controlled by his addiction. One person who instead, is taking control of his addiction instead of letting his addiction take control of him.
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One Response to Dear Alcohol: A Goodbye Letter

  1. Vero says:

    I’m so proud of you. Believe in yourself, you can do this!

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